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Teenage Pregnancy

ABSOLUTE ABSTINENCE

Kids are having kids! Eleven year old, twelve year old and thirteen year old kids are having babies! Why? Because they are having SEX! Unfortunately they don't think that having sex will lead to getting pregnant. Kids don't think about their consequences, they just want to have sex. And that's the problem.

My 50+ years of experience, talking to millions and millions of kids, tells the story: teen sex leads to babies, teen sex leads to unwanted pregnancy, teen sex leads to suicide, teen sex leads to drug addiction, teen sex leads to alcoholism, teen sex leads to AIDS and HIV, teen sex leads to STD's. Teen sex is not only a moral issue, it's a health issue and it's a NATIONAL HEALTH ISSUE!

I have had countless T.V. and Radio shows throughout my career, including The David Toma Show on a local network. The show was an hour long and on three times a week nationally. One particular show I did, I will never forget. It was on Teenage Pregnancy. There were 30 teenage girls on the show all were either pregnant or had already had their babies. Only two girls of the thirty had boyfriends tell them they would take care of them. Some of the girls were told to have abortions by their boyfriends. There were girls who told me personally that they had had abortions before and that decision haunted them because they felt guilty for killing their unborn babies. Here they were pregnant again, but this time they were going to keep the baby. Remember, these are teenagers who had already been pregnant once, and had an abortion and were pregnant again! They just don't learn from their mistakes.

Parents, what are you going to do about this national crisis? School Administrators, what are you going to do about this national crisis? Local government and health agencies, what are you going to do about this national crisis? Some 'experts' preach non-abstinence based on the theory that kids will have sex anyway, so why not teach them to have safe sex. These experts haven't seen what I saw on the streets as a detective. They haven't heard the personal stories, thousands of them, that I heard while a beat cop in Newark, New Jersey.

Parents have given up on teaching total abstinence to their kids. They take their daughters to the doctor to get them birth control pills, so they won't get pregnant. Well guess what? They get pregnant anyway! There is no birth control pill that is 100% safe, and many have dangerous side effects, like blood clots that lead to death! Condoms are not 100% safe either. Protected sex is not the answer, total abstinence is. I am a parent and now a grand parent and guess what my wife and I taught our kids and now are teaching our grand child? Total Abstinence. Was it easy? No! But I will not surrender to complacency. I did whatever it took to make sure my kids knew that premarital sex was not an option.

Recently at a high school in Massachusetts, seventeen girls got pregnant on purpose! They had made a pact to get pregnant. Why? Because they wanted someone to love them unconditionally. One girl had sex with a homeless man so she could get pregnant. Are these kids nuts? What is this world coming to? Is this the latest fad? To bring a precious human being into this world on a whim is criminal.

What will happen to these babies when their teenage mothers get bored. Babies aren't always fun, they get sick, they get cranky, they have demands that need to be met 24/7 for 18 years! Who is going to love these precious babies when these teenagers abandon them? How many of these babies will be abused by their teenage mothers because they can't handle the stress of parenthood? Will these babies end up in foster care, will they be raised by their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins or total strangers?

When these girls got pregnant because they want someone to love them unconditionally, day in and day out, they forgot that you also have to love unconditionally, even when you are tired and you are sick, and you are lonely, and you are poor and you are ready to give up, you have to love your child and keep going for their sake.

Raising a child is the biggest responsibility a person can take on. A child's whole future lies in the hands of their parents. It's a huge decision and certainly not one that should be made in the back seat of a car, or at a pajama party.

The 40,000,000 (that's right forty million!) kids I have talked with over my career gives me the expertise to tell you that absolute abstinence is the only thing that works. I have heard personally the horror stories of back alley abortions that went wrong. I have personally visited kids in the hospital who tried to kill themselves and their unborn babies because they were too scared to tell their parents they were pregnant. Imagine being so afraid to tell your parents you were pregnant that you would rather kill yourself and an innocent growing inside you! I have held young girls in my arms as they died from AIDS which they contracted from having oral sex. They thought that oral sex was safe sex! I have counseled thousands of girls who were gang raped because they had a reputation for being easy.

My twenty years on the streets as a cop and then as a detective made me see things I still have nightmares about: mothers throwing their babies off bridges into freezing rivers, babies killed by their teenage mothers because they wouldn't stop crying, babies in dumpsters, babies thrown away like garbage! We are a throw away society and we throw our babies away too! I have seen it all!!!

Don't tell me that non-abstinence and sex education are the answer, because you are dead wrong. The only answer is Absolute Abstinence.

Let's get back to basics. A baby is a human being. Creating a human being is a gift from God. This is the ultimate act of love between two people who are committed to their lives together.

How many teenagers practice safe sex? My experience tells me very few. In the heat of passion, is a young kid going to stop and put on a condom? No! Many teenagers think that having oral sex is a way to practice safe sex. They are dead wrong. Former President Bill Clinton, told the Great American Lie on national television when he said, "I did not have sex with that woman." Well Mr. Clinton, even if you never kissed her sweet lips, even if you never touched her, she certainly touched you. You had an orgasm and that is sex. Any form of physical intimacy is SEX: kissing, petting, rubbing, fondling, is SEX!

Parents, please don't let you guard down for one minute. Don't let your teenagers have their boyfriend or girlfriend over to do homework up in their bedroom. That is a ticking time bomb. You were a teenager once, remember what is was like? Teenagers are full of raging hormones, that is Mother Nature's way. Your job is to control that sexual energy with lots of exercise, strong moral values and non-stop parental guidance.

I have preached Absolute Abstinence for over 50 years. I will not surrender to popular theories by people who are supposed experts who don't have my background and don't know what they are talking about. I can absolutely guarantee you that your child will not get pregnant, will not get AIDS, and HIV, will not get STD's, will not end up killing themselves when you teach your children the value of a strong moral code of conduct.

I know only too well that there is tremendous peer pressure to have sex. So what! Your kids can say no and stick to their values. I have gone against the grain my whole life. I have never caved into peer pressure, not when I was growing up, not when I was a policeman, not when I was a detective, not when I was in Hollywood....never. I have never backed down from a situation just because someone wanted me to.

Waiting for the right person to share your live with, body, mind and soul is worth it. It's a life long commitment. My wife and I have been married over 50 years. The night before we got married I came home to my parents house a little late. My father was waiting up for me, and demanded an explanation. I still lived under his roof, and he made the rules and I obeyed them.

My philosophy on all the problems we have today has not changed. If you don't take drugs, you won't become a drug addict. If you don't drink, you won't become an alcoholic. If you don't have pre-marital sex, you won't become pregnant. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Let me tell you that when I talk to kids at schools about Absolute Abstinence, I get a standing ovation. They want to hear more about how to live a good clean life and how to live the right way. They want someone to love them and discipline them. They know I love them, and they know I know what I am talking about. Your kids want your guidance, your kids want your love. Love your kids enough to teach them absolute abstinence.

Thank You and I Love You All
David Toma